The Ugly Untruth

I am filled with guilt. I was extremely nasty to my mother. I attacked her beliefs and was incredibly rude. And I feel awful. My mother and I constantly talk about my conversion and she brings up every time why she has trouble accepting it and how dissapointed she is, and how she feels as though she failed me as a mother for not instilling a christian core in me, which to me sounds like brainwashing. In the past I have defended myself and my religion on purely positive tones:

I am a better person now.
I have a closer relationship with god.
I am part of a community.

And various things that Judaism and christianity have together. But all i got was that she was a fundamentalist and that i was going to hell.
The other day on the phone, I told her "That it's a shame there is a religion based on a Jesus, when Jesus himself would be repulsed by the religion it was" And I snarled it. Is said it in a completely angry hateful voice to my mother.

That is not ok. Firstly I should never talk to my parents like that. Ever. They did their best raising me and they didn't do a bad job, they weren't negligent and I never went hungry or without shelter. and secondly, while defending my believes I should never attack another persons' beliefs. Ever. By Attacking someone else's faith you immediatly discredit your own. It was a huge step backwards, and I feel awful for what I said and the way I said it.

To clarify now, what I meant is that, there is no point in the bible where Jesus claims to be the Messiah, at least not as far as what secular non biased translators have told me.

secondly even if Jesus did say that he is the messiah, and the savior and only through acceptance of him can one get into heaven, he certainly did not say "only through southern baptist" or "only through the roman catholic church" or "only through pentecostals." It sounds a bit ridiculous when it's said like that.
What Jesus said, as far as I can see is "Through me is the keys of heaven"
I interpret this not as a messianic statement but as a two fold statement. Through my example, and through my teachings. A nonviolent man who did as the Torah command, a young and radical rabbi, who loved the sick, the poor and the downtrodden. That is my own personal interpretation, which is what originally led me away from christianity and to Judaism.
The mysteries of Kabbalah, the beauty of the rituals and language drew me in as well, then I saw the community, and the emphasis on constantly learning and I knew I had found a home. I believe in One god, whose love knows no bounds. I believe in being a kind and wholesome person. And I need to remember that.
I need to live that. Even when I feel attacked or cornered. I have no right to attack anyone or anything in the name of religion. Not verbally, not mentally.