More Shabbat!

I went to Sunday School this week, the first class was "Ancient Jewish History" Which went from year 1 to year 3760, it's currently the year 5771 on the Jewish Calander so we went from about 3759 BCE to 0 CE on a gregorian Calander. Much of what we went over was Torah stories and when they happened on the time line, as well as what we know about archeology. What was interesting was the split during 586 BCE when the first temple was destroyed the Jewish scholars were taken to Babylon, which  ended up causing two distinct schools of thought. The Babylonian Talmud is the one most followed while the Israeli Talmud is kind of the B-Team, but also an everyman's Talmud. Ironicly enough I learned that the Hebrew for Jerusalem means "City of Peace" or Yera-shalalyim the SH L and M being the root letters that canote peace and wellbeing. Trust me it makes perfect sense when you start studying hebrew.

 The other class was Jewish Mysticism an introduction to Kabbalah. Having studied folklor and Mysticism for a long time, it being one of my chief interests. Oddly enough Rabbi Olshien mostly talked about the history of Kabbalic study or rather the History of the Kabbalistic text the "Zohar" which was written by a 12th century scholar. We read a little bit of his work as well as looking into a few very basic tenats of Kabbalah, but really so far as actual mysticism goes we didn't touch on much. I can't say I'm truly suprised as for 90% of people mysticism and magic are rather tricky subjects to wrap ones mind around. The basics of kabbalah in my mind really are our relationship with God as souls created by God, as being created in God's image. It was a very enlightening class giving origins and history to something I didn't know before.

 LJL Class this week was interesting. Rabbi Lippe was alone in teaching us and it was very cool, She is very excitable and very much about one's personal journey and exploration of Judaism and God. At the same time she doesn't dismiss the Mitzvot or Torah which is something many people who claim to be easy going to unfortunately. We went over some different things that Shabbat means and is. The coolest thing that happened as far as that class went is Rabbi Lippe had myself and a woman read Torah portions in unison. The reason being that is a man and a woman are both reading then there is no Gender assigned to God. The Voice is both masculine and feminine at the same time. Which I thought was insanely cool.

 One of the nicest things I heard at the class was the conecpt of "not yet" which basicly boiled down, means that we may know all the rules and laws, and indeed it is our obligation to learn them. But we must be ok with following the laws we are able to follow now. We can say "I am not yet ready to be completely without electricty on Shabbat" or "I am not yet ready to give up bacon" and that saying these things does not make us bad jews. We as humans and as jews are always capable of being better people.

 I bought a Siddur (jewish prayer book) for my house. And very much look forward to grabbing "On Your Doorstep" which is a big book on having a Jewish Home. I also bought Shabbat Candles. I've set up a little home area for Shabbat with the candles, my menora, my hebrew Tanakh, (Torah/Nevi'im/Kethuvim). I want to get a Kiddish Cup and a jewish Cloth to set underneath all of these just to make it a little holier. I also would like to not use shot glasses to keep my cadlesticks up. I do like that all of this is under a painting of a boat at sea by my great grandmother. The painting itself symbolizes both the importance of family/art. and the Awe inspiring majesty of the Sea. I have always connected the ocean to God in my mind. It fills me with awe, and joy. It comforts me and amazes me. So I'm pretty happy with my little set up as is. I've also asked Rebekah with the Sisterhood if she could try to find me some Jewish Belt Buckles.

 I'm doing everything I can to be a part of the community. Making up for lost time. I've put in my application to join the Brotherhood, I've volenteered to host a couple of kids for the Winter Conclave. And I really wish right now I could maybe find a Job in the Jewish Community. Beth Israel is pretty much out as they run on volenteer work, and while I would joyfully do that I cannot pay my bills with my Joy. I have been thinking of checking out the Austin Area ADL, the JCC, and the Outlook to see if there are any opportunities in those areas. I also think it would be cool to get a job with the Education Department somewhere. Something where I could use my educational background for something other than a decoration at home.

 Yesterday my best friend Phillip and I were talking about my relationship and he said "Anyone within three miles of you guys can tell that your crazy about eachother" and Desiree my girlfriend stated "I'm excited to begin my journey to become a Jewish Woman" which was also very exciting. In that sphere of life i feel very comfortable and joyous, and with Religion once again here I feel good there. Taking classes at CBI fufills my need to go to school and learn. So everything other than my job situation is exactly where I want it to be.
 Heading over to Weekday Services tonight, looking forward to checking that out since I probably won't be able to make it this weekend. I will however light the Shabbat candles and celebrate at home this weekend. So, for now Shalom!

Shabbt Shalom first!

 Hey sorry for the late entry. My Uncle, Billy Bagget died this week on Tuesday, so I have been a little distracted. I've included some pictures of my Synegouge this time. I wanted everyone to see it, It's a beautiful location.

 I have a lot to talk about today, first I has my LJL class this last wednesday, mostly we introduced ourselves. So many people have my exact story, coming from a heavy bigoted christian background. Searching for a true connection with God and Spirituality, and finding Judaism. At first I was disconerted, I felt like I was less special, less unique. Then after a few minutesi rethought the position. Really, that was greedy of me to think for even a second, I want everyone to have the beautiful revelations I do. I want everyone to feel the connection to God that I do. And on top of that I should look at it in another light. I'm not alone. I'm not crazy or stupid for wanting to convert, lots of intelligent beautiful people have come to the same path as me. Almost as if something beautiful led us to it.

We mostly talked about Shabbat after that, I never knew that Shabbat was considered a Holiday. Every week on sunday, Jews, (henceforth we) celebrate Shabbat and our love of God and God's love for us. It's a beautiful Service and if anyone wants to come with me to a service I will be happy to bring you. (lots of Hebrew)

 All of our homework reading was on Shabbat, one article that i hope to go into in the future was entitled "God is a woman and she's getting older." The writing was beautiful. It described God's love for us in terms I had never really put into words. It described her as a mother who has watched us grow up and has triumphed through our triumphs and suffered through our suffering. It is that face of God that I fell in love with that brought me this far in life. A God who despite knowing everyone, everything, loves me intensely, personally. Who knows every detail of my life. The good, the bad, the horrible secrets I don't like to admit to myself. And loves me so much the more for every nook and cranny of my soul and pysche.

I went to Beth Israel today during my lunchbreak to find out how I could get more in line with the community, how I could volenteer. I think that once my life settles down a little and I'm not acting or doing crazy amounts of work that I would like to be heavily involved in the community. I want to make jewish friends. I want to be invited to and partake in family events. I want to know and do everything. So I'll do all I can. I can hardly wait to be assigend a mentor for this journey, I have so many questions. I jump back and forth between who I want to be my mentor. Rabbi Folberg is the head rabbi, he makes me smile and laugh and seems like a fantasicly intelligent man. but on the other hand I feel he is so busy and has a daughter, I feel like he has so much on his plate that he may be busier than I will need. Rabbi Olshien is really whom I'm hoping for as of the moment. She's very knowledgable and great with words. I believe she more than anyone will be able to connect with me and be my friend, as well as my teacher. As a teacher I will see her sunday, she's teaching "Ancient Jewish history in about an hour" AND "Jewish Mysticism in about an hour, a kabbalah primer" As someone who is fantasticly interested in folklore and mysticism I am incredibly excited. I think whomever I get as my personal mentor for the long road ahead, will teach me more than I think they will. I am an open book at the moment, I crave knowledge, and enlightment. I want to know new things about life, and I want to feel new ways to percieve God and all the Miracles of God. This is the first step to my adult life.
 I told my class that I wanted to raise a jewish child, in a jewish home, in a jewish community. I want to surround myself with love and support on a global level. And I think that is what Judaism really is.
 My cousin is having a baby on monday the 18th. So keep her in your prayers for her health and safety and that of her child. I am excited for her. I am excited for this family to begin growing with my generation.

 This is my baby Tunien

 Just Outside Beth Israel

Coming into Beth Israel

A few Services

 I went to worship this saturday, as well as torah study. In Torah study we started in on Noah and the great flood. Throughout all of it we looked at it as a literal story which I have some qualms about. But there are some incredibly interesting points to it as well.

 The first comment I would like to make mention of was that throughout the Torah (and likely the Tankakh as well, although I haven't gotten into that as much) you see the growth of God. This makes interesting connections between Judaism and Other religions principly polytheisms where the Gods have very human faults and connections. This comment was made in conjunction to the promise God makes Noah immediatly after he dries the floodwaters. God promises to never cause another flood, to never again wipe out all life on earth because of the sins of man. This feels to me like regret, and having said that I have to wonder if this is a real reading or if maybe it's the human hand transcribing what had happened. Perhaps however it is because the mightiest thing about God is Love. If god knew the world must be cleansed and yet every death struck him because of his intense love, perhaps the regret was not suprising. It is important to remember for me as a religious man, that God's love permeates everything.

 Another thing I want to talk about is that at this point God also tells Noah that man should not kill man because all men are created in God's Image. There are countless interpretations of this, the most idiotic in my opinion is that God is a Man. A big male with a beard in the sky. Another is that our souls are infused with God's love. That our ability to love and care for those around us that makes us in God's Image. My limited understanding of kabbalah puts us being made in God's image meaning that God's power and light is inside us. That we have the power to create and invoke the name of God.

 If each of us is filled with the power and light of God, if in short each of us is not just made by and loved by God, but infused with the energy of God it means that any malice we do our fellow man or woman is malice done to God directly.

 So far every member of the Clergy at Beth Isael has made me feel very welcome. I don't feel judged and everything thus far has been great. The lessons we have learned have been spot on with my own interpretations and the services have been beautiful. I have seen three Bar Mitzvah's so far. I really hope that this community can be there for my family growing up.

 On another note my friends, Phillip, Desiree and Scott have been exceedingly supportive.

Today

A small note outside of anything else and I'll come back and address these issues later, but Today I joined Congregation Beth Israel. I turned in the form, and am now officially a member of this jewish community which is incredibly exciting to me.

I also bought a Jewish study bible and a yarmulke. It is stylish.

An Introduction

Hello everybody!

this is really just an introductory post, something to have here before I can sit down and really get to the nitty gritty, and maybe also explain a bit more about who I am and what I am doing. This blog is being made to track the next year of my life as I work on officially converting to Judaism and joining Congregation Beth Israel.

Likely the way this will work is, I will post my feelings and reactions to the class, emotional responses to anything I read, journal entries I write or any deep thoughts I have in real time. In between that while bored or otherwise unoccupied I will post about how this monumentous decision was reached, and some details about my current life and goings on that are less spiritually centered, but mostly this blog is about a spiritual journey.

That being said, I fully hope that in a years time I will be a happier, healthier person.

A few comments on me, I have a dog named Tunien, a girlfriend whom I love named Desiree. I get along with and love both my parents and have a close friend named Phillip. All of these people are supporting my choices and my endeaver and you'll likely hear about them from time to time. I will try to keep this journal unbiased and truthful as I can.

For now,

Ciao