Rabbi Folberg talked about something pretty rad in class this tuesday that I would like to share. It involved the statement "God is one" and what that means to jews. As opposed to it saying what god is, it equally says what God is not.
In ancient times it was God is one not a Pantheon.
In early christian times, God is one not a Trinity
In times of gnostic approach where good and evil do battle, God is one, not two.
In Modern times with so much neo-atheism, God is one, not none.
Food for thought!
HAPPY CHANUKKAH!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Suprise Family
I don't want to go too into this but I have three families, mom, stepdad and dad. My Dad's family is the only one who knows and accepts (unconditionally and lovingly) that I am converting to Judaism. My mother tells me that she feels she has failed me as a mother and that it will break her parents hearts, and she also told me that telling my step-dad's family would cause them grief because they would be distraught I was going to hell and would feel an obligation to stop me from converting and make me accept Jesus as God.
Lovely I know, however it turns out one of my cousins on my stepdad's side CONVERTED TO JUDAISM! I have jewish family! This is incredibly exciting for me. I'll probably report more later today after talking to her, but I hope that she and i will grow closer and help eachother through our families intolerance and this exciting new world! Maybe she can come over tonight for the lighting of shabbat candles! I am super excited.
Lovely I know, however it turns out one of my cousins on my stepdad's side CONVERTED TO JUDAISM! I have jewish family! This is incredibly exciting for me. I'll probably report more later today after talking to her, but I hope that she and i will grow closer and help eachother through our families intolerance and this exciting new world! Maybe she can come over tonight for the lighting of shabbat candles! I am super excited.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Hosea 11:9
I will not act on my wrath
I will not turn and destroy Ephram
For I am God, not man.
I will not come in fury.
First I wanted to do my book report on the Sunflower, and having read it I found numerous topics to discuss within that, not only on forgiveness but on accountability. The existence of freewill and it’s place in times of great turmoil, and finally about what distinguishes a man from a monster and how one can transition into another. Then having talked to Rabbi Lippe I thought about doing the Song of Solomon due to my blossoming relationship with Desiree. However that particular work puts me in the mindset to write poetry not essays, so I will spare you and I on that.
After attending Shabbat services last Saturday and hearing the Haftorah I have changed my mind yet again and decided to write my report on a single verse of text from my Jewish Study Bible. Specificly Hosea chapter 11, verse 9, as quoted above. Even then there is one line of this that stands out above all others. “I am God, not man” This single statement of being has been the corner stone of my personal Faith for as long as I can remember. I have always tried to express this thought to people using complicated verbage, or an elevated vocabulary but it really all boils down to four simple words. We are not God. I believe three things firmly, all others are thoughts I feel I can learn more about, can question. These are: A) There is one God. B) God is a loving God. And C) God is completely out of reach of human comprehension.
By out of reach I don’t mean inaccessible, on the contrary I firmly believe that it is very easy to reach, touch and feel the presence of God in our every day, minute to minute lives. (If we spend the energy to focus enough to be aware of it anyway) What I mean is that I believe that God is not limited in the way humanity is. God is not tethered to the feelings, fears, jealousies and pain that is such a integral part of our lives. I believe God is capable of feeling these things with us, sharing in our experience the way no one else can, but I do not believe they define God as they define us.
Everyday I hear people talk about their hatreds, bigotries and phobias. The justification always seems to come clad in a black leather bound book, “God hates fags” “Divorce is a abomination before the lord” “They all died because they sinned, God was angry with them” The God that condemns any person for the way they were created, for being in love or spreading love, is not good, but petty and truly human in thought, small minded. If God is in every moment and every experience, then there can be no blanket, for everyone. God knows each individual’s life more intimately than they themselves do, which would lead me to believe that perhaps sometimes God is angry with us, as we know what is not right, what is hurtful to others and do it anyway for our own gain. But God is also sympathetic with our ordeals. Again, Jews obviously allow for divorce, in fact it seems to be an obligation rather than staying in an unhealthy relationship, and yet people still condemn it. There are people who say that God would rather a couple stay married in an abusive relationship than be happy, which does not seem loving to me.
I speak a lot about how loving and kind god is, which hopefully speaks to the rest of this verse “I will not come in fury” I believe we can link these two lines as one. “For I am God not man, I will not come in fury” in otherwords; Because I am not chained to the petty hatred that humans are, I will not act out in cruelty or anger. I would like to think of this as a Mitzvah. And as a non-jewish, non-Hebrew speaking not-yet-converted 20-something, I’m sure the CCAR and Talmudic scholars are terribly interested in what I have to say, but: You shall not compare yourself to God, you shall not bind god to your level of understanding, you will not claim hatred in God’s name. “I hate gays because God hates gays” “I hate Arabs because God hates Arabs” “Well obviously if God loved Christians he wouldn’t have wiped out so much of Louisiana and Mississippi (mostly southern baptist states both) or “the Jew is a devil and God wants them dead” (all things I have heard with my own two ears.
A savy person might point out that even as I state that god is incomprehensible to human minds, that god is unexplainable, that I seem to be arguing my particular bias of a loving god . How do I know that it isn’t rage and hatred that god is filled with and not love as I suggest? I don’t. I can’t argue against my own argument but to say it is what makes me happy to think. It is what fills me with hope and joy. And that that particular Oneg is how I identify God in my life. Now at least I have a verse to point out. “I am God not man, I will not come in fury”
In retrospect I will have to say that finding this verse was a surprise for me. In theory these are God’s own words from the mouth of a prophet. And if so they vindicate how I have always felt. It makes me feel safer. If someone is in control of all of this, I would be terrified to learn that that person was as incompetant and as like to lash out in a moment of rage as any of the people I know. People hurt one another, for gain, or simply because they enjoy hurting others. They also hurt one another for no reason or accidentally. It is the symptom of freewill. For every person who is beautiful and does wonderous things for people, that same person has the potential to cause harm. I believe that these two potentials war within a person, but I do not believe God has to struggle with whether or not to cause pain. I don’t believe God has to worry about being nasty to someone because God woke up late and didn’t drink coffee and is grumpy. All these petty little small details that make up our lives are at once beneath and part of God. And even though God understand our every moment, walks our every step and breaths our every breath. God is not us. God is not man. God is God, and will come in Loving Kindness.
I will not turn and destroy Ephram
For I am God, not man.
I will not come in fury.
First I wanted to do my book report on the Sunflower, and having read it I found numerous topics to discuss within that, not only on forgiveness but on accountability. The existence of freewill and it’s place in times of great turmoil, and finally about what distinguishes a man from a monster and how one can transition into another. Then having talked to Rabbi Lippe I thought about doing the Song of Solomon due to my blossoming relationship with Desiree. However that particular work puts me in the mindset to write poetry not essays, so I will spare you and I on that.
After attending Shabbat services last Saturday and hearing the Haftorah I have changed my mind yet again and decided to write my report on a single verse of text from my Jewish Study Bible. Specificly Hosea chapter 11, verse 9, as quoted above. Even then there is one line of this that stands out above all others. “I am God, not man” This single statement of being has been the corner stone of my personal Faith for as long as I can remember. I have always tried to express this thought to people using complicated verbage, or an elevated vocabulary but it really all boils down to four simple words. We are not God. I believe three things firmly, all others are thoughts I feel I can learn more about, can question. These are: A) There is one God. B) God is a loving God. And C) God is completely out of reach of human comprehension.
By out of reach I don’t mean inaccessible, on the contrary I firmly believe that it is very easy to reach, touch and feel the presence of God in our every day, minute to minute lives. (If we spend the energy to focus enough to be aware of it anyway) What I mean is that I believe that God is not limited in the way humanity is. God is not tethered to the feelings, fears, jealousies and pain that is such a integral part of our lives. I believe God is capable of feeling these things with us, sharing in our experience the way no one else can, but I do not believe they define God as they define us.
Everyday I hear people talk about their hatreds, bigotries and phobias. The justification always seems to come clad in a black leather bound book, “God hates fags” “Divorce is a abomination before the lord” “They all died because they sinned, God was angry with them” The God that condemns any person for the way they were created, for being in love or spreading love, is not good, but petty and truly human in thought, small minded. If God is in every moment and every experience, then there can be no blanket, for everyone. God knows each individual’s life more intimately than they themselves do, which would lead me to believe that perhaps sometimes God is angry with us, as we know what is not right, what is hurtful to others and do it anyway for our own gain. But God is also sympathetic with our ordeals. Again, Jews obviously allow for divorce, in fact it seems to be an obligation rather than staying in an unhealthy relationship, and yet people still condemn it. There are people who say that God would rather a couple stay married in an abusive relationship than be happy, which does not seem loving to me.
I speak a lot about how loving and kind god is, which hopefully speaks to the rest of this verse “I will not come in fury” I believe we can link these two lines as one. “For I am God not man, I will not come in fury” in otherwords; Because I am not chained to the petty hatred that humans are, I will not act out in cruelty or anger. I would like to think of this as a Mitzvah. And as a non-jewish, non-Hebrew speaking not-yet-converted 20-something, I’m sure the CCAR and Talmudic scholars are terribly interested in what I have to say, but: You shall not compare yourself to God, you shall not bind god to your level of understanding, you will not claim hatred in God’s name. “I hate gays because God hates gays” “I hate Arabs because God hates Arabs” “Well obviously if God loved Christians he wouldn’t have wiped out so much of Louisiana and Mississippi (mostly southern baptist states both) or “the Jew is a devil and God wants them dead” (all things I have heard with my own two ears.
A savy person might point out that even as I state that god is incomprehensible to human minds, that god is unexplainable, that I seem to be arguing my particular bias of a loving god . How do I know that it isn’t rage and hatred that god is filled with and not love as I suggest? I don’t. I can’t argue against my own argument but to say it is what makes me happy to think. It is what fills me with hope and joy. And that that particular Oneg is how I identify God in my life. Now at least I have a verse to point out. “I am God not man, I will not come in fury”
In retrospect I will have to say that finding this verse was a surprise for me. In theory these are God’s own words from the mouth of a prophet. And if so they vindicate how I have always felt. It makes me feel safer. If someone is in control of all of this, I would be terrified to learn that that person was as incompetant and as like to lash out in a moment of rage as any of the people I know. People hurt one another, for gain, or simply because they enjoy hurting others. They also hurt one another for no reason or accidentally. It is the symptom of freewill. For every person who is beautiful and does wonderous things for people, that same person has the potential to cause harm. I believe that these two potentials war within a person, but I do not believe God has to struggle with whether or not to cause pain. I don’t believe God has to worry about being nasty to someone because God woke up late and didn’t drink coffee and is grumpy. All these petty little small details that make up our lives are at once beneath and part of God. And even though God understand our every moment, walks our every step and breaths our every breath. God is not us. God is not man. God is God, and will come in Loving Kindness.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Prayer and Books
So, I said I would talk more about prayer and how I've started praying every day. But I only have about thirty minutes before I start Shabbat. So, I guess i'll do that now and talk about Yom Kippur on sunday.
Prayer has become something very import in my life once more. I haven't really felt that connection to God in a very long time. And i don't necessarily credit CBI or my recent conversion in gifting me with this connection.
I do credit attempting to live a jewish life, the torah study, the weekly services (twice a week usually for me) as giving me the kavanah to focus my innerself and make the connection personally. What I do is every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep I stand infront of my little Shabbat Alter, (I posted a picture of it before) which has my Hebrew Torah on it and I say the Baruchu intro, having said that in hebrew I switch to english and thank god for the blessings I've recieved since I last prayed and then ask for strength or endurance. I always feel that the words and intention is pulled from somewhere deep inside, I don't have to consider my words or my thoughts. They just come and God willing they are heard.
I did go to the Jewish book fair and got to listen to Rodger Kamentetz talk about his new book which is about Kafka and Reb Nachman. And their kabbalistic and storytelling methodology, so unwittingly I bought a book (and got it signed) that I will likely lovingly devour. Rodger also signed the copy of the Jew in the Lotus that my friend Phillip had lent me, so that I kind of got phillip a gift in the signature. Although now I need to go out and buy a new Jew in the Lotus book.
Thank you Mr. Kamentetz for taking time to come and talk to us I found your lecture fascinating and enlightening and look foreward to reading your book. (next thursday I will be seeing Joel Chasnoff and hearing about his experiences in the IDF.)
Shabbat Shalom!
Prayer has become something very import in my life once more. I haven't really felt that connection to God in a very long time. And i don't necessarily credit CBI or my recent conversion in gifting me with this connection.
I do credit attempting to live a jewish life, the torah study, the weekly services (twice a week usually for me) as giving me the kavanah to focus my innerself and make the connection personally. What I do is every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep I stand infront of my little Shabbat Alter, (I posted a picture of it before) which has my Hebrew Torah on it and I say the Baruchu intro, having said that in hebrew I switch to english and thank god for the blessings I've recieved since I last prayed and then ask for strength or endurance. I always feel that the words and intention is pulled from somewhere deep inside, I don't have to consider my words or my thoughts. They just come and God willing they are heard.
I did go to the Jewish book fair and got to listen to Rodger Kamentetz talk about his new book which is about Kafka and Reb Nachman. And their kabbalistic and storytelling methodology, so unwittingly I bought a book (and got it signed) that I will likely lovingly devour. Rodger also signed the copy of the Jew in the Lotus that my friend Phillip had lent me, so that I kind of got phillip a gift in the signature. Although now I need to go out and buy a new Jew in the Lotus book.
Thank you Mr. Kamentetz for taking time to come and talk to us I found your lecture fascinating and enlightening and look foreward to reading your book. (next thursday I will be seeing Joel Chasnoff and hearing about his experiences in the IDF.)
Shabbat Shalom!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Holistic Humanity
So this has very little to do with Judaism other than as perhaps a springboard on my growing awareness of people. I was struck while listening to the character of C.S. Lewis from Shadowlands, talking about how pain doesn't make something more real or even more significant. I started to think about how no one person can experience everything. One person can't even experience a minority of the gambit of human experiences there are.
I don't know if that minor statement could even begin to scratch the hugeness of that fact. Imagine first, a man whose never loved someone, never been in love, never physically been with another human being. Think about how lonely that man is. Think about how sad, and what experiences he has. Now think of a man who's slept his way through college, fell in love got married and then, one night his wife was killed in a mugging gone wrong, that man's pain. Everything that hurts, how he deals with that. And those are two negative examples. Two specific tiny examples.
If we recognize how flabergastingly different these two lives are, the minds, and-4 the choices then we could begin to understand how every single life on the planet is completely unique, completely kodesh. (hebrew for holy, it also means singular, unique, special.) It should stagger the mind. Think of every choice you make, think of making a different choice just once in one moment of your life. That changes everything your experience is now completely different.
Humanity is a huge organism, or if you prefer humanity is a single person, with the experiences of each and every individual making up the global conscious. I'm positive that I'm getting into some Kabbalic thoughtlines here, but I'm not really trying to at the moment, maybe a bit latter, Right now I want to present this.
Six Billion people at anytime, at any moment. Millions being born, countless people have allready died. And God knows all of them. Every choice, every sadness every victory. Every experience that none of us can know or even begin to comprehend, God has experienced with us, and feels us, and loves each and everyone of those human beings not despite of these choices not because of these choices, but because God created us, and is present in every choice we make, wether we acknowledge it or not.
That brings me great comfort, great joy, it makes me feel special and loved, and it makes me feel holy, and a part of the whole.
I don't know if that minor statement could even begin to scratch the hugeness of that fact. Imagine first, a man whose never loved someone, never been in love, never physically been with another human being. Think about how lonely that man is. Think about how sad, and what experiences he has. Now think of a man who's slept his way through college, fell in love got married and then, one night his wife was killed in a mugging gone wrong, that man's pain. Everything that hurts, how he deals with that. And those are two negative examples. Two specific tiny examples.
If we recognize how flabergastingly different these two lives are, the minds, and-4 the choices then we could begin to understand how every single life on the planet is completely unique, completely kodesh. (hebrew for holy, it also means singular, unique, special.) It should stagger the mind. Think of every choice you make, think of making a different choice just once in one moment of your life. That changes everything your experience is now completely different.
Humanity is a huge organism, or if you prefer humanity is a single person, with the experiences of each and every individual making up the global conscious. I'm positive that I'm getting into some Kabbalic thoughtlines here, but I'm not really trying to at the moment, maybe a bit latter, Right now I want to present this.
Six Billion people at anytime, at any moment. Millions being born, countless people have allready died. And God knows all of them. Every choice, every sadness every victory. Every experience that none of us can know or even begin to comprehend, God has experienced with us, and feels us, and loves each and everyone of those human beings not despite of these choices not because of these choices, but because God created us, and is present in every choice we make, wether we acknowledge it or not.
That brings me great comfort, great joy, it makes me feel special and loved, and it makes me feel holy, and a part of the whole.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Books!
I mentioned wanting some books in an earlier post, I thought I would expand on that list a little. List them here and then add to the list as I think of things. Take them off when I get them, A running list for myself if nothing else.
I asked Rabbi Baker to comment on my journal when he can, He runs http://www.everybodyneedsarabbi.com/ So you should check him out, I'll get more into the various rabbi's and what I think of them later. Another thing I would like to talk about is a) the jewish prayer and relationship between god and the people. and b) the nature of humanity and the global relationship, which I really want to get into before any rabbi begins commenting on my Journal. So maybe I can get that done later today.
Torah: (ok yes I know I have four allready, but CBI sells one that has the Haftorah section right after each Torah portion, which I think would be both useful and fun, for studying at home for instance)
ANOTHER TORAH!: er yeah, another Torah, Rabbi Olshien mentioned the existance of a Torah that was translated word for word from hebrew into english with no bias and no agenda, meaning that everything in this translation is word for word. that sounds FASCINATING!
The Jew in the Lotus: I want to get my copy signed by the author this month.
The Zohar: (I adore mysticism and folklore, the idea of a book that merely tried to bring beauty and magic back to Torah is really amazing, I do not want anything to do with the Kabbalah Center and I would really really be annoyed if the only copy I could get my hands on was one edited by a member of the Golden Dawn, if you want to know more about the Golden Dawn I'd be happy to expound in a future post on Mysticism and modern magic, just comment here that you want to see it.
On your Doorpost (rabbi Lippe, please correct the title and gimme the author!) A guidebook with blessings prayers and rituals for living in a Jewish Home.
Legends of the Jews/Legends of the Bible: (Legends of the Jews is a huge collection of all the Midrash of the Torah combined and brought together interlinked into beautiful stories, The Legends of the Bible is essentially the condensed version of the same.)
I asked Rabbi Baker to comment on my journal when he can, He runs http://www.everybodyneedsarabbi.com/ So you should check him out, I'll get more into the various rabbi's and what I think of them later. Another thing I would like to talk about is a) the jewish prayer and relationship between god and the people. and b) the nature of humanity and the global relationship, which I really want to get into before any rabbi begins commenting on my Journal. So maybe I can get that done later today.
Torah: (ok yes I know I have four allready, but CBI sells one that has the Haftorah section right after each Torah portion, which I think would be both useful and fun, for studying at home for instance)
ANOTHER TORAH!: er yeah, another Torah, Rabbi Olshien mentioned the existance of a Torah that was translated word for word from hebrew into english with no bias and no agenda, meaning that everything in this translation is word for word. that sounds FASCINATING!
The Jew in the Lotus: I want to get my copy signed by the author this month.
The Zohar: (I adore mysticism and folklore, the idea of a book that merely tried to bring beauty and magic back to Torah is really amazing, I do not want anything to do with the Kabbalah Center and I would really really be annoyed if the only copy I could get my hands on was one edited by a member of the Golden Dawn, if you want to know more about the Golden Dawn I'd be happy to expound in a future post on Mysticism and modern magic, just comment here that you want to see it.
On your Doorpost (rabbi Lippe, please correct the title and gimme the author!) A guidebook with blessings prayers and rituals for living in a Jewish Home.
Legends of the Jews/Legends of the Bible: (Legends of the Jews is a huge collection of all the Midrash of the Torah combined and brought together interlinked into beautiful stories, The Legends of the Bible is essentially the condensed version of the same.)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Family Issues
It just keeps getting busier and busier for me lately. I'm trying to keep up with studies, a play, work, love and social obligations, For those of you who don't know I'm in a play called "Shadow Lands" you can get more information about it at TrinityStreetPlayers.com it would be a great support if you could come and show your face there. Make an effort to reserve a seat if you can.
Otherwise my LJL class continues unabated, as well as my journy into living a jewish life personally. I lit the Shabbat candles this friday, and am getting a little better with my hebrew pronunciation. I am dedicated to trying to learn the hebrew alphabet in the next three weeks so I can go to the Torah Trope class that Rabbi Olshien is conducting for sunday school fairly soon. My journal entry suggestion says to "write something you would like to include in your Rosh Hashanah ritual" and frankly I've never done anything for Rosh Hashana other than go to a service once years ago. So I suppose this year I'm looking forward to everything I can do, the wine, the apples and honey, the Shofar, everything. I am pretty unhappy that I'm missing the class on Rosh Hashana it means I'll need to do all my own research without much help. My one regret going into all of this is that I do not have any jewish friends. I would really and truly like to have a jewish friend who is capable of showing me the way and the ropes for everything. Someone who I can share this with and who knows more than I do.
I feel more than ever a need to talk to a counselor. Once more my mother and I talked about my conversion, she cried this time. And talked about how much this decision would hurt my grandparents, and how much it hurt her. She told me that she felt as though she had failed me as a mother. It really hurt me to hear those words. I want her support and love. But this is why I didn't tell her for so long.
I am starting to read my assigned book for this semester "The Sunflower" It's about a prisoner in a concentration camp being called in by a dying SS officer who wants to absolve himself. So it's about forgiviness. The first part is simply the story the second part of the book is scholars and other learned and spiritual individuals reacting to it. I think it will be a good story, and hopefully I'll post my report to this blog.
Shalom
Otherwise my LJL class continues unabated, as well as my journy into living a jewish life personally. I lit the Shabbat candles this friday, and am getting a little better with my hebrew pronunciation. I am dedicated to trying to learn the hebrew alphabet in the next three weeks so I can go to the Torah Trope class that Rabbi Olshien is conducting for sunday school fairly soon. My journal entry suggestion says to "write something you would like to include in your Rosh Hashanah ritual" and frankly I've never done anything for Rosh Hashana other than go to a service once years ago. So I suppose this year I'm looking forward to everything I can do, the wine, the apples and honey, the Shofar, everything. I am pretty unhappy that I'm missing the class on Rosh Hashana it means I'll need to do all my own research without much help. My one regret going into all of this is that I do not have any jewish friends. I would really and truly like to have a jewish friend who is capable of showing me the way and the ropes for everything. Someone who I can share this with and who knows more than I do.
I feel more than ever a need to talk to a counselor. Once more my mother and I talked about my conversion, she cried this time. And talked about how much this decision would hurt my grandparents, and how much it hurt her. She told me that she felt as though she had failed me as a mother. It really hurt me to hear those words. I want her support and love. But this is why I didn't tell her for so long.
I am starting to read my assigned book for this semester "The Sunflower" It's about a prisoner in a concentration camp being called in by a dying SS officer who wants to absolve himself. So it's about forgiviness. The first part is simply the story the second part of the book is scholars and other learned and spiritual individuals reacting to it. I think it will be a good story, and hopefully I'll post my report to this blog.
Shalom
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
More Shabbat!
I went to Sunday School this week, the first class was "Ancient Jewish History" Which went from year 1 to year 3760, it's currently the year 5771 on the Jewish Calander so we went from about 3759 BCE to 0 CE on a gregorian Calander. Much of what we went over was Torah stories and when they happened on the time line, as well as what we know about archeology. What was interesting was the split during 586 BCE when the first temple was destroyed the Jewish scholars were taken to Babylon, which ended up causing two distinct schools of thought. The Babylonian Talmud is the one most followed while the Israeli Talmud is kind of the B-Team, but also an everyman's Talmud. Ironicly enough I learned that the Hebrew for Jerusalem means "City of Peace" or Yera-shalalyim the SH L and M being the root letters that canote peace and wellbeing. Trust me it makes perfect sense when you start studying hebrew.
The other class was Jewish Mysticism an introduction to Kabbalah. Having studied folklor and Mysticism for a long time, it being one of my chief interests. Oddly enough Rabbi Olshien mostly talked about the history of Kabbalic study or rather the History of the Kabbalistic text the "Zohar" which was written by a 12th century scholar. We read a little bit of his work as well as looking into a few very basic tenats of Kabbalah, but really so far as actual mysticism goes we didn't touch on much. I can't say I'm truly suprised as for 90% of people mysticism and magic are rather tricky subjects to wrap ones mind around. The basics of kabbalah in my mind really are our relationship with God as souls created by God, as being created in God's image. It was a very enlightening class giving origins and history to something I didn't know before.
LJL Class this week was interesting. Rabbi Lippe was alone in teaching us and it was very cool, She is very excitable and very much about one's personal journey and exploration of Judaism and God. At the same time she doesn't dismiss the Mitzvot or Torah which is something many people who claim to be easy going to unfortunately. We went over some different things that Shabbat means and is. The coolest thing that happened as far as that class went is Rabbi Lippe had myself and a woman read Torah portions in unison. The reason being that is a man and a woman are both reading then there is no Gender assigned to God. The Voice is both masculine and feminine at the same time. Which I thought was insanely cool.
One of the nicest things I heard at the class was the conecpt of "not yet" which basicly boiled down, means that we may know all the rules and laws, and indeed it is our obligation to learn them. But we must be ok with following the laws we are able to follow now. We can say "I am not yet ready to be completely without electricty on Shabbat" or "I am not yet ready to give up bacon" and that saying these things does not make us bad jews. We as humans and as jews are always capable of being better people.
I bought a Siddur (jewish prayer book) for my house. And very much look forward to grabbing "On Your Doorstep" which is a big book on having a Jewish Home. I also bought Shabbat Candles. I've set up a little home area for Shabbat with the candles, my menora, my hebrew Tanakh, (Torah/Nevi'im/Kethuvim). I want to get a Kiddish Cup and a jewish Cloth to set underneath all of these just to make it a little holier. I also would like to not use shot glasses to keep my cadlesticks up. I do like that all of this is under a painting of a boat at sea by my great grandmother. The painting itself symbolizes both the importance of family/art. and the Awe inspiring majesty of the Sea. I have always connected the ocean to God in my mind. It fills me with awe, and joy. It comforts me and amazes me. So I'm pretty happy with my little set up as is. I've also asked Rebekah with the Sisterhood if she could try to find me some Jewish Belt Buckles.
I'm doing everything I can to be a part of the community. Making up for lost time. I've put in my application to join the Brotherhood, I've volenteered to host a couple of kids for the Winter Conclave. And I really wish right now I could maybe find a Job in the Jewish Community. Beth Israel is pretty much out as they run on volenteer work, and while I would joyfully do that I cannot pay my bills with my Joy. I have been thinking of checking out the Austin Area ADL, the JCC, and the Outlook to see if there are any opportunities in those areas. I also think it would be cool to get a job with the Education Department somewhere. Something where I could use my educational background for something other than a decoration at home.
Yesterday my best friend Phillip and I were talking about my relationship and he said "Anyone within three miles of you guys can tell that your crazy about eachother" and Desiree my girlfriend stated "I'm excited to begin my journey to become a Jewish Woman" which was also very exciting. In that sphere of life i feel very comfortable and joyous, and with Religion once again here I feel good there. Taking classes at CBI fufills my need to go to school and learn. So everything other than my job situation is exactly where I want it to be.
Heading over to Weekday Services tonight, looking forward to checking that out since I probably won't be able to make it this weekend. I will however light the Shabbat candles and celebrate at home this weekend. So, for now Shalom!
The other class was Jewish Mysticism an introduction to Kabbalah. Having studied folklor and Mysticism for a long time, it being one of my chief interests. Oddly enough Rabbi Olshien mostly talked about the history of Kabbalic study or rather the History of the Kabbalistic text the "Zohar" which was written by a 12th century scholar. We read a little bit of his work as well as looking into a few very basic tenats of Kabbalah, but really so far as actual mysticism goes we didn't touch on much. I can't say I'm truly suprised as for 90% of people mysticism and magic are rather tricky subjects to wrap ones mind around. The basics of kabbalah in my mind really are our relationship with God as souls created by God, as being created in God's image. It was a very enlightening class giving origins and history to something I didn't know before.
LJL Class this week was interesting. Rabbi Lippe was alone in teaching us and it was very cool, She is very excitable and very much about one's personal journey and exploration of Judaism and God. At the same time she doesn't dismiss the Mitzvot or Torah which is something many people who claim to be easy going to unfortunately. We went over some different things that Shabbat means and is. The coolest thing that happened as far as that class went is Rabbi Lippe had myself and a woman read Torah portions in unison. The reason being that is a man and a woman are both reading then there is no Gender assigned to God. The Voice is both masculine and feminine at the same time. Which I thought was insanely cool.
One of the nicest things I heard at the class was the conecpt of "not yet" which basicly boiled down, means that we may know all the rules and laws, and indeed it is our obligation to learn them. But we must be ok with following the laws we are able to follow now. We can say "I am not yet ready to be completely without electricty on Shabbat" or "I am not yet ready to give up bacon" and that saying these things does not make us bad jews. We as humans and as jews are always capable of being better people.
I bought a Siddur (jewish prayer book) for my house. And very much look forward to grabbing "On Your Doorstep" which is a big book on having a Jewish Home. I also bought Shabbat Candles. I've set up a little home area for Shabbat with the candles, my menora, my hebrew Tanakh, (Torah/Nevi'im/Kethuvim). I want to get a Kiddish Cup and a jewish Cloth to set underneath all of these just to make it a little holier. I also would like to not use shot glasses to keep my cadlesticks up. I do like that all of this is under a painting of a boat at sea by my great grandmother. The painting itself symbolizes both the importance of family/art. and the Awe inspiring majesty of the Sea. I have always connected the ocean to God in my mind. It fills me with awe, and joy. It comforts me and amazes me. So I'm pretty happy with my little set up as is. I've also asked Rebekah with the Sisterhood if she could try to find me some Jewish Belt Buckles.
I'm doing everything I can to be a part of the community. Making up for lost time. I've put in my application to join the Brotherhood, I've volenteered to host a couple of kids for the Winter Conclave. And I really wish right now I could maybe find a Job in the Jewish Community. Beth Israel is pretty much out as they run on volenteer work, and while I would joyfully do that I cannot pay my bills with my Joy. I have been thinking of checking out the Austin Area ADL, the JCC, and the Outlook to see if there are any opportunities in those areas. I also think it would be cool to get a job with the Education Department somewhere. Something where I could use my educational background for something other than a decoration at home.
Yesterday my best friend Phillip and I were talking about my relationship and he said "Anyone within three miles of you guys can tell that your crazy about eachother" and Desiree my girlfriend stated "I'm excited to begin my journey to become a Jewish Woman" which was also very exciting. In that sphere of life i feel very comfortable and joyous, and with Religion once again here I feel good there. Taking classes at CBI fufills my need to go to school and learn. So everything other than my job situation is exactly where I want it to be.
Heading over to Weekday Services tonight, looking forward to checking that out since I probably won't be able to make it this weekend. I will however light the Shabbat candles and celebrate at home this weekend. So, for now Shalom!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Shabbt Shalom first!
Hey sorry for the late entry. My Uncle, Billy Bagget died this week on Tuesday, so I have been a little distracted. I've included some pictures of my Synegouge this time. I wanted everyone to see it, It's a beautiful location.
I have a lot to talk about today, first I has my LJL class this last wednesday, mostly we introduced ourselves. So many people have my exact story, coming from a heavy bigoted christian background. Searching for a true connection with God and Spirituality, and finding Judaism. At first I was disconerted, I felt like I was less special, less unique. Then after a few minutesi rethought the position. Really, that was greedy of me to think for even a second, I want everyone to have the beautiful revelations I do. I want everyone to feel the connection to God that I do. And on top of that I should look at it in another light. I'm not alone. I'm not crazy or stupid for wanting to convert, lots of intelligent beautiful people have come to the same path as me. Almost as if something beautiful led us to it.
We mostly talked about Shabbat after that, I never knew that Shabbat was considered a Holiday. Every week on sunday, Jews, (henceforth we) celebrate Shabbat and our love of God and God's love for us. It's a beautiful Service and if anyone wants to come with me to a service I will be happy to bring you. (lots of Hebrew)
All of our homework reading was on Shabbat, one article that i hope to go into in the future was entitled "God is a woman and she's getting older." The writing was beautiful. It described God's love for us in terms I had never really put into words. It described her as a mother who has watched us grow up and has triumphed through our triumphs and suffered through our suffering. It is that face of God that I fell in love with that brought me this far in life. A God who despite knowing everyone, everything, loves me intensely, personally. Who knows every detail of my life. The good, the bad, the horrible secrets I don't like to admit to myself. And loves me so much the more for every nook and cranny of my soul and pysche.
I went to Beth Israel today during my lunchbreak to find out how I could get more in line with the community, how I could volenteer. I think that once my life settles down a little and I'm not acting or doing crazy amounts of work that I would like to be heavily involved in the community. I want to make jewish friends. I want to be invited to and partake in family events. I want to know and do everything. So I'll do all I can. I can hardly wait to be assigend a mentor for this journey, I have so many questions. I jump back and forth between who I want to be my mentor. Rabbi Folberg is the head rabbi, he makes me smile and laugh and seems like a fantasicly intelligent man. but on the other hand I feel he is so busy and has a daughter, I feel like he has so much on his plate that he may be busier than I will need. Rabbi Olshien is really whom I'm hoping for as of the moment. She's very knowledgable and great with words. I believe she more than anyone will be able to connect with me and be my friend, as well as my teacher. As a teacher I will see her sunday, she's teaching "Ancient Jewish history in about an hour" AND "Jewish Mysticism in about an hour, a kabbalah primer" As someone who is fantasticly interested in folklore and mysticism I am incredibly excited. I think whomever I get as my personal mentor for the long road ahead, will teach me more than I think they will. I am an open book at the moment, I crave knowledge, and enlightment. I want to know new things about life, and I want to feel new ways to percieve God and all the Miracles of God. This is the first step to my adult life.
I told my class that I wanted to raise a jewish child, in a jewish home, in a jewish community. I want to surround myself with love and support on a global level. And I think that is what Judaism really is.
My cousin is having a baby on monday the 18th. So keep her in your prayers for her health and safety and that of her child. I am excited for her. I am excited for this family to begin growing with my generation.
This is my baby Tunien
Just Outside Beth Israel
Coming into Beth Israel
I have a lot to talk about today, first I has my LJL class this last wednesday, mostly we introduced ourselves. So many people have my exact story, coming from a heavy bigoted christian background. Searching for a true connection with God and Spirituality, and finding Judaism. At first I was disconerted, I felt like I was less special, less unique. Then after a few minutesi rethought the position. Really, that was greedy of me to think for even a second, I want everyone to have the beautiful revelations I do. I want everyone to feel the connection to God that I do. And on top of that I should look at it in another light. I'm not alone. I'm not crazy or stupid for wanting to convert, lots of intelligent beautiful people have come to the same path as me. Almost as if something beautiful led us to it.
We mostly talked about Shabbat after that, I never knew that Shabbat was considered a Holiday. Every week on sunday, Jews, (henceforth we) celebrate Shabbat and our love of God and God's love for us. It's a beautiful Service and if anyone wants to come with me to a service I will be happy to bring you. (lots of Hebrew)
All of our homework reading was on Shabbat, one article that i hope to go into in the future was entitled "God is a woman and she's getting older." The writing was beautiful. It described God's love for us in terms I had never really put into words. It described her as a mother who has watched us grow up and has triumphed through our triumphs and suffered through our suffering. It is that face of God that I fell in love with that brought me this far in life. A God who despite knowing everyone, everything, loves me intensely, personally. Who knows every detail of my life. The good, the bad, the horrible secrets I don't like to admit to myself. And loves me so much the more for every nook and cranny of my soul and pysche.
I went to Beth Israel today during my lunchbreak to find out how I could get more in line with the community, how I could volenteer. I think that once my life settles down a little and I'm not acting or doing crazy amounts of work that I would like to be heavily involved in the community. I want to make jewish friends. I want to be invited to and partake in family events. I want to know and do everything. So I'll do all I can. I can hardly wait to be assigend a mentor for this journey, I have so many questions. I jump back and forth between who I want to be my mentor. Rabbi Folberg is the head rabbi, he makes me smile and laugh and seems like a fantasicly intelligent man. but on the other hand I feel he is so busy and has a daughter, I feel like he has so much on his plate that he may be busier than I will need. Rabbi Olshien is really whom I'm hoping for as of the moment. She's very knowledgable and great with words. I believe she more than anyone will be able to connect with me and be my friend, as well as my teacher. As a teacher I will see her sunday, she's teaching "Ancient Jewish history in about an hour" AND "Jewish Mysticism in about an hour, a kabbalah primer" As someone who is fantasticly interested in folklore and mysticism I am incredibly excited. I think whomever I get as my personal mentor for the long road ahead, will teach me more than I think they will. I am an open book at the moment, I crave knowledge, and enlightment. I want to know new things about life, and I want to feel new ways to percieve God and all the Miracles of God. This is the first step to my adult life.
I told my class that I wanted to raise a jewish child, in a jewish home, in a jewish community. I want to surround myself with love and support on a global level. And I think that is what Judaism really is.
My cousin is having a baby on monday the 18th. So keep her in your prayers for her health and safety and that of her child. I am excited for her. I am excited for this family to begin growing with my generation.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A few Services
I went to worship this saturday, as well as torah study. In Torah study we started in on Noah and the great flood. Throughout all of it we looked at it as a literal story which I have some qualms about. But there are some incredibly interesting points to it as well.
The first comment I would like to make mention of was that throughout the Torah (and likely the Tankakh as well, although I haven't gotten into that as much) you see the growth of God. This makes interesting connections between Judaism and Other religions principly polytheisms where the Gods have very human faults and connections. This comment was made in conjunction to the promise God makes Noah immediatly after he dries the floodwaters. God promises to never cause another flood, to never again wipe out all life on earth because of the sins of man. This feels to me like regret, and having said that I have to wonder if this is a real reading or if maybe it's the human hand transcribing what had happened. Perhaps however it is because the mightiest thing about God is Love. If god knew the world must be cleansed and yet every death struck him because of his intense love, perhaps the regret was not suprising. It is important to remember for me as a religious man, that God's love permeates everything.
Another thing I want to talk about is that at this point God also tells Noah that man should not kill man because all men are created in God's Image. There are countless interpretations of this, the most idiotic in my opinion is that God is a Man. A big male with a beard in the sky. Another is that our souls are infused with God's love. That our ability to love and care for those around us that makes us in God's Image. My limited understanding of kabbalah puts us being made in God's image meaning that God's power and light is inside us. That we have the power to create and invoke the name of God.
If each of us is filled with the power and light of God, if in short each of us is not just made by and loved by God, but infused with the energy of God it means that any malice we do our fellow man or woman is malice done to God directly.
So far every member of the Clergy at Beth Isael has made me feel very welcome. I don't feel judged and everything thus far has been great. The lessons we have learned have been spot on with my own interpretations and the services have been beautiful. I have seen three Bar Mitzvah's so far. I really hope that this community can be there for my family growing up.
On another note my friends, Phillip, Desiree and Scott have been exceedingly supportive.
The first comment I would like to make mention of was that throughout the Torah (and likely the Tankakh as well, although I haven't gotten into that as much) you see the growth of God. This makes interesting connections between Judaism and Other religions principly polytheisms where the Gods have very human faults and connections. This comment was made in conjunction to the promise God makes Noah immediatly after he dries the floodwaters. God promises to never cause another flood, to never again wipe out all life on earth because of the sins of man. This feels to me like regret, and having said that I have to wonder if this is a real reading or if maybe it's the human hand transcribing what had happened. Perhaps however it is because the mightiest thing about God is Love. If god knew the world must be cleansed and yet every death struck him because of his intense love, perhaps the regret was not suprising. It is important to remember for me as a religious man, that God's love permeates everything.
Another thing I want to talk about is that at this point God also tells Noah that man should not kill man because all men are created in God's Image. There are countless interpretations of this, the most idiotic in my opinion is that God is a Man. A big male with a beard in the sky. Another is that our souls are infused with God's love. That our ability to love and care for those around us that makes us in God's Image. My limited understanding of kabbalah puts us being made in God's image meaning that God's power and light is inside us. That we have the power to create and invoke the name of God.
If each of us is filled with the power and light of God, if in short each of us is not just made by and loved by God, but infused with the energy of God it means that any malice we do our fellow man or woman is malice done to God directly.
So far every member of the Clergy at Beth Isael has made me feel very welcome. I don't feel judged and everything thus far has been great. The lessons we have learned have been spot on with my own interpretations and the services have been beautiful. I have seen three Bar Mitzvah's so far. I really hope that this community can be there for my family growing up.
On another note my friends, Phillip, Desiree and Scott have been exceedingly supportive.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Today
A small note outside of anything else and I'll come back and address these issues later, but Today I joined Congregation Beth Israel. I turned in the form, and am now officially a member of this jewish community which is incredibly exciting to me.
I also bought a Jewish study bible and a yarmulke. It is stylish.
I also bought a Jewish study bible and a yarmulke. It is stylish.
An Introduction
Hello everybody!
this is really just an introductory post, something to have here before I can sit down and really get to the nitty gritty, and maybe also explain a bit more about who I am and what I am doing. This blog is being made to track the next year of my life as I work on officially converting to Judaism and joining Congregation Beth Israel.
Likely the way this will work is, I will post my feelings and reactions to the class, emotional responses to anything I read, journal entries I write or any deep thoughts I have in real time. In between that while bored or otherwise unoccupied I will post about how this monumentous decision was reached, and some details about my current life and goings on that are less spiritually centered, but mostly this blog is about a spiritual journey.
That being said, I fully hope that in a years time I will be a happier, healthier person.
A few comments on me, I have a dog named Tunien, a girlfriend whom I love named Desiree. I get along with and love both my parents and have a close friend named Phillip. All of these people are supporting my choices and my endeaver and you'll likely hear about them from time to time. I will try to keep this journal unbiased and truthful as I can.
For now,
Ciao
this is really just an introductory post, something to have here before I can sit down and really get to the nitty gritty, and maybe also explain a bit more about who I am and what I am doing. This blog is being made to track the next year of my life as I work on officially converting to Judaism and joining Congregation Beth Israel.
Likely the way this will work is, I will post my feelings and reactions to the class, emotional responses to anything I read, journal entries I write or any deep thoughts I have in real time. In between that while bored or otherwise unoccupied I will post about how this monumentous decision was reached, and some details about my current life and goings on that are less spiritually centered, but mostly this blog is about a spiritual journey.
That being said, I fully hope that in a years time I will be a happier, healthier person.
A few comments on me, I have a dog named Tunien, a girlfriend whom I love named Desiree. I get along with and love both my parents and have a close friend named Phillip. All of these people are supporting my choices and my endeaver and you'll likely hear about them from time to time. I will try to keep this journal unbiased and truthful as I can.
For now,
Ciao
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