Hosea 11:9

I will not act on my wrath
I will not turn and destroy Ephram
For I am God, not man.
I will not come in fury.

    First I wanted to do my book report on the Sunflower, and having read it I found numerous topics to discuss within that, not only on forgiveness but on accountability. The existence of freewill and it’s place in times of great turmoil, and finally about what distinguishes a man from a monster and how one can transition into another. Then having talked to Rabbi Lippe I thought about doing the Song of Solomon due to my blossoming relationship with Desiree.  However that particular work puts me in the mindset to write poetry not essays, so I will spare you and I on that.

    After attending Shabbat services last Saturday and hearing the Haftorah I have changed my mind yet again and decided to write my report on a single verse of text from my Jewish Study Bible. Specificly Hosea chapter 11, verse 9, as quoted above. Even then there is one line of this that stands out above all others. “I am God, not man” This single statement of being has been the corner stone of my personal Faith for as long as I can remember. I have always tried to express this thought to people using complicated verbage, or an elevated vocabulary but it really all boils down to four simple words. We are not God. I believe three things firmly, all others are thoughts I feel I can learn more about, can question. These are: A) There is one God. B) God is a loving God. And C) God is completely out of reach of human comprehension.

    By out of reach I don’t mean inaccessible, on the contrary I firmly believe that it is very easy to reach, touch and feel the presence of God in our every day, minute to minute lives. (If we spend the energy to focus enough to be aware of it anyway) What I mean is that I believe that God is not limited in the way humanity is. God is not tethered to the feelings, fears, jealousies and pain that is such a integral part of our lives. I believe God is capable of feeling these things with us, sharing in our experience the way no one else can, but I do not believe they define God as they define us.

    Everyday I hear people talk about their hatreds, bigotries and phobias. The justification always seems to come clad in a black leather bound book, “God hates fags” “Divorce is a abomination before the lord” “They all died because they sinned, God was angry with them” The God that condemns any person for the way they were created, for being in love or spreading love, is not good, but petty and truly human in thought, small minded. If God is in every moment and every experience, then there can be no blanket, for everyone. God knows each individual’s life more intimately than they themselves do, which would lead me to believe that perhaps sometimes God is angry with us, as we know what is not right, what is hurtful to others and do it anyway for our own gain. But God is also sympathetic with our ordeals. Again, Jews obviously allow for divorce, in fact it seems to be an obligation rather than staying in an unhealthy relationship, and yet people still condemn it. There are people who say that God would rather a couple stay married in an abusive relationship than be happy, which does not seem loving to me.

    I speak a lot about how loving and kind god is, which hopefully speaks to the rest of this verse “I will not come in fury” I believe we can link these two lines as one. “For I am God not man, I will not come in fury” in otherwords; Because I am not chained to the petty hatred that humans are, I will not act out in cruelty or anger. I would like to think of this as a Mitzvah. And as a non-jewish, non-Hebrew speaking not-yet-converted 20-something, I’m sure the CCAR and Talmudic scholars are terribly interested in what I have to say, but: You shall not compare yourself to God, you shall not bind god to your level of understanding, you will not claim hatred in God’s name. “I hate gays because God hates gays” “I hate Arabs because God hates Arabs” “Well obviously if God loved Christians he wouldn’t have wiped out so much of Louisiana and Mississippi  (mostly southern baptist states both) or “the Jew is a devil and God wants them dead” (all things I have heard with my own two ears.

    A savy person might point out that even as I state that god is incomprehensible to human minds, that god is unexplainable, that I seem to be arguing my particular bias of a loving god . How do I know that it isn’t rage and hatred that god is filled with and not love as I suggest? I don’t. I can’t argue against my own argument but to say it is what makes me happy to think. It is what fills me with hope and joy. And that that particular Oneg is how I identify God in my life. Now at least I have a verse to point out. “I am God not man, I will not come in fury”

    In retrospect I will have to say that finding this verse was a surprise for me. In theory these are God’s own words from the mouth of a prophet. And if so they vindicate how I have always felt. It makes me feel safer. If someone is in control of all of this, I would be terrified to learn that that person was as incompetant and as like to lash out in a moment of rage as any of the people I know. People hurt one another, for gain, or simply because they enjoy hurting others. They also hurt one another for no reason or accidentally. It is the symptom of freewill. For every person who is beautiful and does wonderous things for people, that same person has the potential to cause harm. I believe that these two potentials war within a person, but I do not believe God has to struggle with whether or not to cause pain. I don’t believe God has to worry about being nasty to someone because God woke up late and didn’t drink coffee and is grumpy. All these petty little small details that make up our lives are at once beneath and part of God. And even though God understand our every moment, walks our every step and breaths our every breath. God is not us. God is not man. God is God, and will come in Loving Kindness.