I have a lot to talk about today, first I has my LJL class this last wednesday, mostly we introduced ourselves. So many people have my exact story, coming from a heavy bigoted christian background. Searching for a true connection with God and Spirituality, and finding Judaism. At first I was disconerted, I felt like I was less special, less unique. Then after a few minutesi rethought the position. Really, that was greedy of me to think for even a second, I want everyone to have the beautiful revelations I do. I want everyone to feel the connection to God that I do. And on top of that I should look at it in another light. I'm not alone. I'm not crazy or stupid for wanting to convert, lots of intelligent beautiful people have come to the same path as me. Almost as if something beautiful led us to it.
We mostly talked about Shabbat after that, I never knew that Shabbat was considered a Holiday. Every week on sunday, Jews, (henceforth we) celebrate Shabbat and our love of God and God's love for us. It's a beautiful Service and if anyone wants to come with me to a service I will be happy to bring you. (lots of Hebrew)
All of our homework reading was on Shabbat, one article that i hope to go into in the future was entitled "God is a woman and she's getting older." The writing was beautiful. It described God's love for us in terms I had never really put into words. It described her as a mother who has watched us grow up and has triumphed through our triumphs and suffered through our suffering. It is that face of God that I fell in love with that brought me this far in life. A God who despite knowing everyone, everything, loves me intensely, personally. Who knows every detail of my life. The good, the bad, the horrible secrets I don't like to admit to myself. And loves me so much the more for every nook and cranny of my soul and pysche.
I went to Beth Israel today during my lunchbreak to find out how I could get more in line with the community, how I could volenteer. I think that once my life settles down a little and I'm not acting or doing crazy amounts of work that I would like to be heavily involved in the community. I want to make jewish friends. I want to be invited to and partake in family events. I want to know and do everything. So I'll do all I can. I can hardly wait to be assigend a mentor for this journey, I have so many questions. I jump back and forth between who I want to be my mentor. Rabbi Folberg is the head rabbi, he makes me smile and laugh and seems like a fantasicly intelligent man. but on the other hand I feel he is so busy and has a daughter, I feel like he has so much on his plate that he may be busier than I will need. Rabbi Olshien is really whom I'm hoping for as of the moment. She's very knowledgable and great with words. I believe she more than anyone will be able to connect with me and be my friend, as well as my teacher. As a teacher I will see her sunday, she's teaching "Ancient Jewish history in about an hour" AND "Jewish Mysticism in about an hour, a kabbalah primer" As someone who is fantasticly interested in folklore and mysticism I am incredibly excited. I think whomever I get as my personal mentor for the long road ahead, will teach me more than I think they will. I am an open book at the moment, I crave knowledge, and enlightment. I want to know new things about life, and I want to feel new ways to percieve God and all the Miracles of God. This is the first step to my adult life.
I told my class that I wanted to raise a jewish child, in a jewish home, in a jewish community. I want to surround myself with love and support on a global level. And I think that is what Judaism really is.
My cousin is having a baby on monday the 18th. So keep her in your prayers for her health and safety and that of her child. I am excited for her. I am excited for this family to begin growing with my generation.
Thank you!!!! I hope you are having a good journey on the way to Judaism. : ) Love you always.
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